How Do You Split Holidays When Co-Parenting?

Author : Jeanette Soltys

Holidays are a time of joy, tradition, and family connection, but for divorced or separated parents, they can also bring stress and tough decisions. How do you create a holiday schedule that works for both parents while prioritizing your child’s needs?

As a Marietta divorce attorney with 18 years of experience, as well as a co-parent and stepmother, I’ve seen firsthand the challenges of holiday scheduling. I’ve also made my own mistakes along the way. If you’re trying to figure out how to split holidays in a way that feels fair and minimizes disruption for your child, here’s what you need to know.

The Biggest Mistake Parents Make: Thinking from Their Own Perspective

When I went through my own divorce, I approached our holiday schedule based on what I wanted.

• I wanted every single Easter with my son.
• I insisted on having him every Christmas Eve because, as a Christian, it was an important tradition for me.
• My ex-husband, who is Jewish but still celebrated Christmas, didn’t push back.

At the time, it made sense—to me. But in reality, it wasn’t the best arrangement for my son.

We followed this plan for about two years before realizing it wasn’t working. Life changed. My son was growing up. What seemed like the perfect plan on paper wasn’t practical or in his best interest anymore.

The Key to a Successful Holiday Schedule: Think Like Your Child

Instead of asking, What holidays do I want? or How can I make sure I get my time?—shift the perspective. Ask yourself: What is this holiday actually going to feel like for my child?

For example:

• Would your child want to switch houses in the middle of Christmas Day? Imagine waking up, opening gifts, getting excited to play with new toys, and then suddenly having to pack up and leave.
• Would they enjoy celebrating a holiday in a way that fits into your tradition but not theirs? In my case, I wanted my son to go to church with me every Christmas Eve, even when he was spending the holiday week with his dad’s family. But was that actually meaningful for him?
• Are you considering logistics? What does the actual transition look like? Will there be long drives, rushed schedules, or emotional upheaval?

Every family is different, and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. But the key to co-parenting successfully during the holidays is to make choices that support your child’s happiness and emotional stability.

Tips for Creating a Child-Centered Holiday Schedule

1. Prioritize Stability and Tradition – Try to maintain routines that are familiar and comforting for your child, even if that means adjusting your own expectations.
2. Be Flexible and Open to Change – What works when your child is 4 may not work when they’re 14. Be willing to revisit your parenting plan as your child grows.
3. Avoid Mid-Day Transitions – If possible, let your child fully experience the day in one home. Consider alternating entire holidays or splitting the holiday break instead of switching halfway through the day.
4. Consider the Meaning of Each Holiday – Some holidays may be more significant to one parent than the other. Be willing to trade or adjust based on what’s most meaningful to your child.
5. Communicate and Compromise – Co-parenting works best when both parents focus on cooperation rather than competition. Find a way to create a schedule that works for everyone involved.

Final Thoughts: Put Your Child First

The holidays should be a time of joy, not conflict. When creating a co-parenting plan, the best approach is to put yourself in your child’s shoes. Their happiness, emotional well-being, and stability should always come first.

By thinking from your child’s perspective instead of your own, you can create a holiday schedule that feels fair, balanced, and—most importantly—enjoyable for them.

Need Help with Your Parenting Plan?

If you’re navigating a divorce or need help adjusting your parenting plan, we’re here to guide you. Every family is unique, and we can help you craft a plan that ensures the best outcome for you and your child.

📞 Contact us today to discuss your parenting schedule.